YOUR DREAM WOMAN By Jolly Nemi

God never give any man a finished woman, you will never find the woman you are looking for gentle men, God will always give a man the raw material, His Job is to cultivate her into the woman that he dream of, that’s why you will never find the woman you are looking for. 

This is where a lot of men make mistake, they keep saying I married the wrong woman, No the woman you are looking for, is trapped in the one you are married to, your job is to bring her out of that woman. You are a cultivator, that means you are suppose to produce the woman that you are dreaming of. Just like Jesus, He is a great Husband, the bible says husband love your wives even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, watch this, he cleans her, take away every wrinkle, every damage every pain, every sin and then he presented her unto himself as a reigning bride, he didn’t present it to his father he present it to himself, that means he is proud of what he did. 

A good man is a cultivator, he cultivate his woman, I promise you man, you will never find the woman you are looking for, God will give you the raw material and you to work on that woman until she becomes everything you think in your 'head'.

The woman in your head does not exist, she is hidden in the woman you are married, but you got to bring her out. That’s why a lots of women are frustrated because men are going about looking for this ''idea woman''. You are to cultivate the woman you marry into what you are looking for.

Just Friends …?

Nicole was beautiful, vibrant, and single. She enjoyed life and loved God. Occasionally, she was approached by interesting, single men, but never felt a serious connection with any of them, until she met Jeremy. Their chemistry was evident. As they grew closer, she began to envision a future with him.

  To Nicole, being with Jeremy was like a fairy tale—a dream that had become reality. He was gentle, attentive, and kind; not to mention, she was extremely attracted to him. They dated for three months, but then dating turned into hanging out (sexually involved). By the time they had known each other for a year, they were inseparable, but had never discussed the status of their relationship.
“I love him, Miranda,” she told her best friend one evening. “I know he’s the one.” Nicole decided it was time to get married, and that night, she would initiate the discussion.

The Friend Zone

Are you dating? If your answer is complex, you are not alone. Many singles struggle with dating issues, particularly when the terms of their relationships are unclear. In some cases, one party defines the relationship as a “friendship,” while the other feels absolutely certain that he or she is entering a committed, romantic relationship.
For Christians, it is especially risky to blur the line between the two. Emotional attachments form quickly and can be very hard to break. When it comes to avoiding dating traps, establishing honesty and boundaries, every step of the way, is the safest policy. Here are some tips for positive dating experiences:

• Develop friendships. Avoid making romantic gestures or putting yourself in compromising situations, even if you are attracted to the other person.
• Get acquainted. Get to know a person through group outings or in other comfortable settings. The way we behave around our friends reveals a lot about our true personalities.
• Look beyond the physical. Do not assume he or she is “the one” just because of physical attraction. Give your friendship time to develop.
• Don’t assume anything. Get to know a person and his or her intentions before you begin to envision him or her as your mate. For example, if the man you are dating has not proposed to you with an engagement ring, do not start planning your wedding!
• Make a decision. Determine what you want from a particular relationship and refuse to compromise your standards.
• Be honest. Let your friend or potential mate know your intentions and never take advantage of, mislead, or use another person.
• Don’t linger. If someone is not interested in you, move on. God knows what you want and what you need.
• Allow the Holy Spirit to guide your decisions. He knows what is best!                                                              

(c) Taffi Dollar

Til Death Do You Part Is Long, Long Time. by Creflo Dollar

 

If you’re over 25 and single, chances are you’ve felt the pressure. Maybe it’s come from well-meaning parents, overly eager for grandchildren. Maybe it has come from friends who think that because they’re married, you should be too.
Maybe you’ve felt pressured by your own insecurities as you have wondered, What’s wrong with me? Is it the way I wear my hair? Am I too fat? Too skinny? Why am I not married yet?
If you’re unmarried and starting to get frantic about it…stop. Take the next few minutes, climb out of the pressure cooker and take an honest look at what a mate can and can’t do for you. By doing so you might well avoid one of the greatest catastrophes life can bring—a bad marriage.
As a pastor I can tell you Christians are being trapped in such marriages all the time. They’re marrying the wrong people for all the wrong reasons. They’re being deceived by marriage myths that have left them disappointed, disillusioned and all too often, divorced.

Myth #1: The Loneliness Cure

The first myth is the belief that marriage will put an end to loneliness. One single woman deceived by this myth, wrote: “I can’t think of anything I hate more than being alone. Everywhere I turn I see couples. Couples on TV, couples in cars, couples on planes, couples in restaurants, couples in parks, couples...couples...couples. Everywhere there are reminders that I am alone. I wonder if I will ever find a person to fill that hole in my heart.”
Child of God, if you ever find yourself thinking like that, warning signals should start flashing in your mind because you’re expecting something from marriage it never can give you. Marriage is not the cure-all for human loneliness. There are many desperately lonely married people who can vouch for that.
You see God created human beings to yearn for two levels of relational intimacy. Granted, one of them is the yearning for an honest and trusting relationship with a friend or marriage partner. But the second one is far greater. It’s the yearning to enter an authentic, growing relationship with God.
We’ve been putting too much emphasis on meeting a mate, believing that mate will fill the hole in our hearts. But they can’t do it. A mate might fill space in our houses, but they can’t fill the hole in our hearts.

Only Jesus can fill our hearts.

It’s fine to date someone, but that person is not the loneliness cure. Jesus is your cure. So the dating relationship should direct both of you—as individuals—to an increasing intimacy in your relationship with God. As He becomes stronger in your lives individually, then you’ll have a completeness you have never before experienced.
In John 10:10 Jesus said, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” Remember this: Only Jesus can give you abundant life. Only He can give you a life so full that it puts loneliness behind you forever. That curly headed cutie who catches your eye can’t do that for you.
So before you plunge into a relationship with expectations that never can be met, plunge into the depths of your relationship with Jesus Christ. Build a solid foundation in Him.

                                                     

Myth #2: The Life Preserver

The second myth many people believe about marriage is that it will heal their broken hearts. A person who is hurting may think, If I can just find a mate, I’ll feel better. If that’s what you think, then think again. A man or woman who is drowning in emotional pain and latches on to marriage as a life preserver is opening the door for disaster. I’ve seen it time and again. One day the life-preserving spouse will stand up and say, “Please just back off and give me some space!” The pain-filled spouse will interpret that request as another round of rejection, neglect or abuse. When they react to that threat, chaos will break out in the marriage.
Healthy marriages cannot be built on foundations of brokenness. Spouses cannot heal broken, messed-up hearts. Only Jesus can do that kind of heart surgery.
Therefore if you’re hurting, if you’re plagued with feelings of inferiority and fears of being abandoned, don’t cling to a person. Cling to Jesus. Develop a personal relationship with Him, and you’ll find He is the best companion and lover you could ever have. He’ll never leave you nor forsake you. He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
You don’t need that unemployed, cocaine-using boyfriend who’s been abusing you. You don’t need that girlfriend who criticizes and belittles you. Kick those heartbreakers out of your life and get hooked up to Jesus. He’ll take care of you.

Myth #3: Happily Ever After

The third and perhaps most common myth to beware of is this: Marriage will make me happy. Countless singles fall for that lie. He or she may think, I’m not content now as a single, but if I can get married, I’ll be content. After all, I’ll have my wife, a fireplace and a wonderful life. We’ll get cozy on the couch, listen to Lou Rawls records and live happily ever after.
You know what I would say to that? Wake up! An unhappy single equals an unhappy marriage. An angry single equals an angry marriage. A dissatisfied single equals a dissatisfied marriage. Whatever you are when you are single, that’s what you’ll be when you’re married because marriage does not produce life or character transformation. Jesus transforms. The Word of God transforms. But marriage does not. It will not transform you and it will not transform the one you marry. If your boyfriend is a frog before you marry him, he’ll be a frog after you marry him. Saying “I do” won’t turn him into a prince.
Character changes are produced by the inner work of the Holy Spirit independently of one’s marital status. Whether you’re married or single, if changes need to be made within your heart, they will have to be made by meditating on God’s Word, acting on that Word, and being yielded to the Holy Spirit. There is no other way to get the job done.

Take Your Time

“OK, Pastor Dollar, I’m ready,” you say. “I have a solid relationship with Jesus. He’s healed my broken heart. I’m happy, healthy and I want to get married. Do you have any other words of wisdom for me?”
Yes, when you choose a mate be absolutely sure to obey the instructions God gives in II Corinthians 6:14-15: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?”
In other words, only marry a believer. Unpopular though it sometimes may be among singles, that is a requirement of God. Keep it without compromise
If you’re dating a man who is “kind of saved,” who drinks a little and smokes a little and cusses a little, then get rid of him until he gets delivered from that little bit of stuff he’s been doing. You don’t need to marry into that mess. You wait until he gets “real saved” before you marry him.
Even then don’t rush into anything. Take time to observe that potential mate very carefully. They are not always what they appear to be. Just because they say they’re a Christian, don’t automatically believe it.
The Bible says you’ll know Christians by the fruit they bear. So let that boyfriend or girlfriend bear some fruit first. Then give it time and see if that fruit lasts. Don’t say, “Well he bore fruit last week so we’ll get married the next!”
No, I advise you to give it at least one year. If that boy is still opening doors for you and sending flowers, if he’s still concerned about you and hasn’t pressured you into sexual activity after a year, reel him in because he’s a good catch! If that girl is still talking sweetly to you and treating you with respect after she’s been seeing you a year, set the wedding date, because she’s the one you’ve been praying for God to send.
Finally as Colossians 3:15 says, “let the peace from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts” (The Amplified Bible). Next to making Jesus your Lord, choosing a mate is the most monumental decision you’ll ever make. So don’t do anything unless God’s peace in your heart tells you it’s safe.
Let Him direct you. Never jump ahead of Him. Relax and let God bring that right person to you in His own way. Don’t get in a hurry and make a mistake. After all, “till death do you part” is a long, long time.